377 Funny Margarita Puns & Jokes for Every Occasion

Margarita puns are one of those things that just work everywhere — Instagram captions, birthday cards, party banners, or a random Tuesday text to your best friend. They hit differently when they’re actually clever.

I’ve pulled together 378+ of the best margarita puns and jokes covering every occasion you’d need them for. Funny margarita captions for Instagram, tequila puns, frozen margarita jokes, holiday lines, food pairings, and yes — a section your grandma should probably sit out.

Some are short. Some run a little longer. All of them earned their place here.

Let’s pour right in.

Best Picks — Top 10 Margarita Puns

If you’re in a rush and just want the good stuff — here it is. These ten made me laugh out loud (or at least exhale sharply through my nose, which definitely counts).

1. Squeeze the day.
2. You had me at margarita.
3. Agave me another one and no one gets hurt.
4. Life is sour — add salt and drink up.
5. I’m on a salt rim diet. It’s going exceptionally well.
6. Tequila mockingbird.
7. Pour decisions were made, and I regret nothing.
8. Blended, not stirred.
9. Many salty returns of the day!
10. What time is it? Margarita o’clock — obviously.

Funny Margarita Puns for Instagram & Captions

Good captions are hard. Great captions with a margarita in frame? Somehow even harder. I’ve noticed that the shorter the caption, the more it tends to land — so I split these into three groups to make it easy.

Short One-Word Captions

These work best when the photo does the talking. Drop one of these and let the drink speak for itself.

1. Salted.
2. Rimmed.
3. Blended.
4. Squeezed.
5. Limed.
6. Poured.
7. Sipping.
8. Salted & blessed.
9. Iced out.
10. Margarita’d.

Sassy & Witty Captions

For when you want people to laugh before they double-tap.

1. Currently in a very committed relationship with this glass.
2. My therapist has a salt rim and no opinions. Perfect.
3. Zero ice given today.
4. This is cheaper than actual therapy and tastes way better.
5. On the rocks — both the drink and my decision-making.
6. Vitamin C never looked this good.
7. Not all who wander are lost. Some are just looking for a margarita.
8. She warned me it was a double. I said, “perfect.”
9. Sip happens. Roll with it.
10. Serving salt and absolutely no apologies.

Margarita Hashtag Puns

These work as standalone captions or as hashtag fodder at the end of your post.

1. #TequilaMockingbird
2. #SqueezeTheDay
3. #SaltedAndBlessed
4. #MargaritaOClock
5. #PourDecisions
6. #RimAndBearIt
7. #BlendedNotStirred
8. #SipSipHooray
9. #LimeAndPunishment
10. #ZeroSaltGiven

Margarita Pun Names

Perfect for cocktail menus, party drink stations, bar carts, or naming your pitcher at the next gathering. In my experience, a themed drink name at a party always gets people reading — and laughing — before they even take a sip.

1. The Lime Reaper
2. Margari-Ta-Da!
3. The Salty Professor
4. Holy Guac-amole Rita
5. Queen of the Rim
6. The Grand Señorita
7. Citrus Maximus
8. The Sour Sage
9. Señorita Squeeze
10. The Salt Whisperer
11. Blended & Blessed
12. The Frozen Oracle
13. Agave Dreams
14. Rimshot Rita
15. The Citrus Boss
16. Lady Limelight
17. The Sour Patch (adults only)
18. Zero Proof of Self-Control
19. The Triple Threat
20. Margari-Time

Margarita One-Liner Puns

Short. Sharp. Salty. These are the lines you drop in a text, use as a toast, or say out loud to absolutely no one in particular. You know the type.

1. I’m not drunk — I’m just well-marinated.
2. Salt life chose me.
3. Today’s forecast: 100% chance of margaritas.
4. Life gave me lemons. I asked for lime. Close enough.
5. Talk salty to me.
6. I’m agave you everything I’ve got.
7. My spirit animal is a blended margarita on a Friday afternoon.
8. Rind your own business.
9. Citrus-ly though — is it 5 o’clock yet?
10. I don’t always drink margaritas. Wait, yes I do.
11. Born to be salty. Living the dream.
12. Keep your friends close and your margarita closer.
13. Shake well before serving. That’s me after two of these.
14. The salt rim is not optional. It’s a lifestyle choice.
15. I work out so I can drink margaritas guilt-free. Mostly.
16. Pitcher perfect — that’s my goal every Friday.
17. Sour on the outside, genuinely happy on the inside.
18. I told myself just one. We both know how that ended.
19. Lime + salt + tequila = my kind of math.
20. Nothing a fresh squeeze of lime can’t fix. Probably.
21. My patience has a salt rim around it.
22. I’m blended, not broken.
23. Margarita: breakfast of champions (on vacation, obviously).
24. That’s a salt and battery right there.
25. Can’t stop, won’t stop — sipping.

Margarita QnA Jokes

Question-and-answer jokes are underrated. They’re perfect for kids’ parties, group chats, or just breaking the ice when someone walks in with a tray of drinks. Ask the question out loud. Pause. Watch people squint. Then deliver.

1. Why did the margarita break up with the beer? Because it needed more zest in the relationship.
2. What do you call a margarita that tells jokes? A pun-ch drink.
3. Why did the margarita go to school? To get a little more cultured — specifically, lime culture.
4. What’s a margarita’s favourite day of the week? Fry-day. Always Fry-day.
5. Why don’t margaritas ever get lost? Because they always follow the salt trail.
6. What did the lime say to the margarita glass? “You complete me.”
7. Why did the blender break up with the margarita? It felt like the relationship was getting too mixed up.
8. What do you call a snowman’s margarita? A frozen one. Obviously.
9. How does a margarita answer the phone? “Aloha — I mean, agave speaking.”
10. What’s the difference between a margarita and a good friend? Nothing. Both make everything better.
11. Why did the margarita sit in the corner? Because it was on the rocks.
12. What do you call a margarita that sings? A lime-rick.
13. Why did the margarita get promoted? Because it always performed well under pressure — specifically, citrus pressure.
14. What’s a margarita’s life motto? When life gets sour, add salt and shake it off.
15. Why was the margarita so popular at the party? Because it had the best rimjob in the room. (Salt rim. Obviously.)
16. What do you call a margarita at a library? Shhhaken, not stirred.
17. Why did the margarita go to therapy? Too much salt, not enough closure.
18. What do margaritas and good advice have in common? Both go down smooth and hit harder than expected.
19. Why does a margarita never lie? Because it’s always straight up. Or on the rocks. Either way — honest.
20. What’s a margarita’s favourite movie? The Lime King.

Tequila & Margarita Puns

You can’t talk about margaritas without giving tequila its moment. It’s the backbone of the whole operation. Think of these puns as the spirit behind the spirit.

1. Tequila: the original team player.
2. In tequila we trust. Margaritas are just the proof.
3. Life is short. Pour the tequila. Squeeze the lime. Repeat.
4. Tequila may not be the answer, but it’s worth a shot.
5. A margarita without tequila is just a sad citrus drink.
6. Tequila: making questionable decisions taste amazing since forever.
7. Agave me something to believe in — preferably in a glass.
8. Tequila — because adulting is hard and lime is helpful.
9. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Zero regrets.
10. Every great margarita story starts with “so I grabbed the tequila…”
11. Tequila is just liquid confidence with a salt rim.
12. Sipping on sunshine — tequila edition.
13. Triple sec and tequila walk into a bar. The margarita was their idea.
14. My love language is tequila, lime, and absolutely no drama.
15. Some people find themselves. I found a good tequila. Same thing.
16. Blanco, reposado, añejo — I speak fluent tequila.
17. Tequila doesn’t ask silly questions. Tequila understands.
18. Good tequila needs no explanation. Bad tequila needs a lime and a prayer.
19. This margarita is the direct result of excellent tequila choices.
20. Here’s to tequila — for being there every single time.

Tequila Puns That Hit Different

These are pure tequila wordplay — a little more creative, a little more satisfying when they land.

1. Tequila Mockingbird — the only book I’d re-read every Friday.
2. Tequila Sunrise? More like tequila is the reason I watched the sunrise.
3. José Cuervo: the original life coach.
4. Don’t worry, be agave.
5. I’m on a seafood diet. I see tequila, I drink it.
6. Agave me that bottle and nobody gets emotional.
7. Tequila: proof that good things come from agave plants and bad decisions.
8. What doesn’t kill you makes you pour another shot.
9. Sipping tequila like it owes me something.
10. Patron saint of poor planning.
11. Blanco slate — let’s start fresh with a new glass.
12. Reposado and chillin’.
13. Añejo state of mind.
14. I didn’t choose the tequila life. The tequila life chose me.
15. Two types of people: those who drink tequila and those who haven’t had good tequila yet.

Margarita Birthday Puns

Birthdays and margaritas are a natural match. Skip the tired “cheers to another year” and go with something that’ll actually get a laugh. I’ve tried a few of these on birthday cards — they work better than anything Hallmark ever came up with.

1. Many salty returns of the day!
2. Age is just a number. Margaritas are forever.
3. Another year older, another year saltier. Congratulations!
4. Birthday rule: cake is optional, margaritas are mandatory.
5. You don’t look a day over tequila.
6. Happy birthday! Let’s get this par-tay rimmed and ready.
7. Here’s to you — may your glass always be full and your lime always fresh.
8. Getting older is just getting better — like a good añejo.
9. Forget the candles. Just light up the blender.
10. Wishing you a year as refreshing as a cold margarita on a hot day.
11. Birthdays are better on the rocks.
12. Salt, lime, tequila — the holy trinity of a great birthday.
13. You’ve aged like fine tequila: smoother and stronger every year.
14. Pour decisions and birthday wishes — the perfect combo.
15. One year older. One more reason to drink the good stuff.
16. Life’s too short for bad margaritas — especially on your birthday.
17. Happy birthday! This round’s on agave.
18. Cheers to you — the saltiest, most wonderful person I know.
19. May your birthday be blended to perfection.
20. Here’s to you: aged to perfection, rimmed with love.

Margarita Party Puns

Party planning tip: put a punny name on the drink table and watch how many people photograph it. These work on banners, napkins, drink tags, and group chat invites.

1. Let’s get this par-tequila started.
2. Warning: this party is salt-rated.
3. No shirt, no shoes, no margarita — no service.
4. Tonight’s vibe: blended, shaken, and absolutely thrilled to be here.
5. Party hard. Sip harder. Salt everything.
6. Welcome to the sip show.
7. Casa, fiesta, and zero responsibilities tonight.
8. Margarita math: more people + more limes = legendary night.
9. This party was brought to you by tequila and terrible ideas.
10. Pull up a salt rim and stay a while.
11. The fiesta doesn’t start until the pitcher hits the table.
12. Drinks are cold, vibes are warm, salt rim optional but encouraged.
13. No bad days allowed — only bad pours (and we fixed those).
14. Life of the party? No. Life of the pitcher. Different skill set entirely.
15. Shake what your blender gave you.
16. We came, we sipped, we conquered.
17. Every good party needs a designated margarita enthusiast. Congratulations — it’s you.
18. Tequila is the glue that holds this party together.
19. Pour more, worry less.
20. This is not a drill. It’s a blender.

Margarita Puns for Love & Couples

Nothing says romance like handing someone a margarita and a terrible pun at the same time. These work for anniversary cards, date night toasts, or a funny “thinking of you” text.

1. You agave me butterflies from day one.
2. I like you more than margaritas. That’s saying a lot.
3. You’re the lime to my tequila — sharp, essential, and perfect.
4. Together we make the perfect blend.
5. You salt my wounds and somehow make it better.
6. I’m on the rocks without you.
7. You had me at “want a margarita?”
8. Every sip is better with you here.
9. Two straws, one glass, zero complaints.
10. You’re my favourite pour decision.
11. Love is messy — like a frozen margarita on a windy day. Worth it.
12. You’re the triple sec to my tequila. Sweet, orange-y, and totally necessary.
13. I’d squeeze a thousand limes just to impress you.
14. My heart has a salt rim — you put it there.
15. With you, every ordinary Tuesday feels like Cinco de Mayo.
16. You make everything taste better, like salt on a rim.
17. Forget wine — you’re my margarita. Complex, refreshing, and habit-forming.
18. Rind over matter — I’d peel every lime in existence for you.
19. Life with you: always on the rocks (the good kind, with a drink in hand).
20. I didn’t know my drink order until I met you. Now I just say your name.

Margarita Puns for Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day + margarita = the most honest love language. These work on cards, texts, or stitched on a cocktail napkin.

1. You’re the lime to my Valentine.
2. Agave my whole heart to you.
3. Will you be my Marg-arita? (Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose.)
4. You make my heart do a salt-and-lime shimmy.
5. Love is a frozen margarita: cold on the outside, absolutely electric inside.
6. Be mine — and bring the tequila.
7. Every day with you tastes like citrus and sunshine.
8. You’re sweet, sour, salty, and perfect. Just like this drink.
9. Cupid called. He wants his arrow back. I traded it for a margarita and a date with you.
10. Forget chocolate hearts — you had me at the salt rim.

Margarita Puns for Friends

The best friendships are held together with inside jokes and shared drinks. These are perfect for group chats, friendship cards, or yelling across the table at brunch.

1. Friends who sip together, stay together.
2. You’re the salt to my rim — I’d be bland without you.
3. Real friends share their margaritas. And their lime wedges.
4. Best friends don’t let best friends drink alone. That’s the rule.
5. Our friendship: aged like tequila, gets better every year.
6. I’d squeeze limes for you. That’s love.
7. You’re the person I call before, during, and after the margarita. That means everything.
8. Side by side or miles apart, we’ll always find our way to a good margarita.
9. Cheers to the friend who always tops up your glass before asking if you want more.
10. You’re my person. Also, it’s your turn to buy the pitcher.
11. We go together like salt and a margarita glass — effortlessly.
12. Thanks for being the tequila in my life. Warm, strong, and always there.
13. We’ve shared too many margaritas to stop being friends now. Legally binding, I think.
14. Every great memory I have somehow involves you and a blender.
15. Here’s to us — the duo that never needed a reason to order a round.
16. You make even the bad days taste like good tequila.
17. Citrus-ly though — I don’t know what I’d do without you.
18. Friendship rule: if one of us orders a margarita, both of us order a margarita.
19. You’re my ride-or-lime. Period.
20. A best friend is someone who knows your drink order without asking.

Margarita Summer Puns

Summer and margaritas were basically invented for each other. Citrus, heat, salt air — it all just fits. These work for beach captions, backyard party invites, or just a mid-July text to no one in particular.

1. Summer state of mind: salty, blended, slightly sunburnt.
2. Sun’s out, limes out.
3. Hot outside. Ice in the glass. Balance achieved.
4. Summer rule: if the temperature hits 80, the blender turns on. No exceptions.
5. Poolside + margarita = the entire personality.
6. Vitamin Sea and vitamin C. That’s the summer diet.
7. Sip, swim, repeat. That’s the whole summer plan.
8. Some people do yoga for clarity. I have a patio and a pitcher. Same energy.
9. Sandy toes, salty rim, zero worries.
10. Life is a beach and I’m just here for the margaritas.
11. Golden hour hits different with a margarita in hand.
12. Too hot to function. Too cold in the glass. Perfect equilibrium.
13. Summer called. It wants its drink back. I said no.
14. Citrus season is my season.
15. If summer had a flavour, it would taste exactly like this.
16. The blender is the unofficial soundtrack of summer.
17. Sweat outside, sip inside. That’s the move.
18. A good summer doesn’t need a plan — just a margarita and a good view.
19. Frozen anything sounds great right now. Starting with this glass.
20. Summer nights were made for salt rims and slow sipping.

Frozen Margarita Puns

The frozen margarita deserves its own moment. Blended, icy, brain-freeze-inducing — it’s the chaotic good of cocktails.

1. Brain freeze is just your brain’s way of saying “that was amazing.”
2. Frozen on the outside, fiesta on the inside.
3. Blended to perfection — just like me after two of these.
4. This drink is chill. I am also chill. We get each other.
5. Frozen margarita: the only acceptable reason to own a blender this expensive.
6. Cold glass, warm vibes, zero regrets.
7. I asked for it blended. I got it blended. This is what peak performance looks like.
8. Ice, ice, agave.
9. Frosty on the outside, chaotic on the inside.
10. A frozen margarita a day keeps the bad mood away. Probably.
11. Slush life chose me.
12. If you’re not blending in summer, are you even trying?
13. It’s giving icy, it’s giving citrus, it’s giving Friday.
14. Warning: may cause brain freeze and excessive happiness.
15. Frozen margarita: technically a smoothie if you believe hard enough.

Margarita Holiday Puns

Holidays are just better with a themed drink and a terrible pun. Here’s a set for the three occasions that margaritas genuinely own.

1. Every holiday is better on the rocks.
2. Tis the season to sip something cold and salty.
3. Holiday spirit? Already poured mine.

Cinco de Mayo Margarita Puns

The unofficial national holiday of margaritas. Go all in.

1. Cinco de Drinko — the holiday that never disappoints.
2. May the fifth be with you. And also this margarita.
3. On this day in history: the margarita was declared the most important thing.
4. Celebrate everything. Start with the salt rim.
5. Cinco de Mayo: the one day where “just one margarita” means absolutely nothing.
6. This is not just a drink. It’s a cultural moment.
7. Feliz Margarita Day. Yes, that’s what I’m calling it.

Christmas Margarita Puns

Hot cocoa is cute. But a Christmas margarita? That’s festive.

1. Fa-la-la-la-lima.
2. All I want for Christmas is a pitcher of these.
3. Jingle all the whey — lime whey, specifically.
4. ‘Tis the season to be salty. And blended. And a little lime-crazy.
5. Santa’s secret weapon: a good agave and a salt rim.
6. Merry Margarit-mas to all.
7. Drink the halls with limes and tequila.

New Year’s Margarita Puns

New Year’s resolutions are great. But starting January 1st with a margarita pun is better.

1. New Year, same salt rim.
2. Out with the old, in with the blended.
3. Cheers to 365 more days of excellent pour decisions.
4. New Year’s resolution: drink better margaritas. Already nailed it.
5. Countdown to margarita: 3… 2… 1… sip.
6. Fresh start, fresh lime, fresh glass.

Margarita Puns for Work & Office

This is genuinely the most underserved angle in margarita puns. Office parties, work group chats, Slack messages on a Friday — there’s real demand here. I’ve noticed people always share the work-themed ones because they’re so specific.

1. I survived this week. The margarita was non-negotiable.
2. Out of office: gone to find a salt rim and some peace.
3. Deadline met. Blender on.
4. This meeting could’ve been a margarita.
5. My work-life balance has a salt rim.
6. Corporate said “celebrate small wins.” Done. Margarita ordered.
7. Clock out. Lime in.
8. Employee of the month: whoever remembered to bring the tequila.
9. Office happy hour is just a business meeting with better content.
10. I don’t work well under pressure — but I work great with a margarita after.
11. CC me on all future margarita decisions.
12. Reply all: it’s Friday and the blender is on.
13. My KPIs this week: key performance in pours. Crushed it.
14. Work hard. Sip harder. Salt everything.
15. The best team meetings happen around a pitcher.
16. Annual review says: “drinks well with others.”
17. I bring a lot to the table. Including limes.
18. Out of office message: currently blended and unavailable.
19. Productivity peaks right after the first margarita. Proven fact.
20. Work is temporary. A good margarita is also temporary — but the memory lasts.

Margarita & Food Pairing Puns

Margaritas and food are a match made in flavour heaven — tacos, guac, chips, ceviche. These puns work for food blogs, restaurant menus, or an Instagram post of your dinner spread.

1. You guac my world.
2. Taco ’bout a perfect pairing.
3. Chips and a margarita — the only duo that matters at this table.
4. Life is better with guac and a glass of something salty.
5. Holy guacamole, that margarita is good.
6. This ceviche and this margarita are in a very serious relationship.
7. Tacos on the left, margaritas on the right. Middle ground: happiness.
8. Nacho average drink pairing.
9. Salsa dancing with a margarita? That’s the whole evening sorted.
10. Queso you were wondering — yes, this margarita goes perfectly with everything.
11. Squeeze the lime, pass the chips.
12. Citrus and spice and everything nice.
13. A margarita without good food is like a taco without salsa. Possible, but why?
14. Pair this with anything and call it elevated. Done.
15. Guac is extra. So is this margarita. Worth every penny.

Margarita Jokes for Kids

Clean. Groan-worthy. Perfect for young ones who think they’re hilarious — and honestly, these will get adults too. No tequila required.

1. Why did the lemonade go to school with the lime? To get a little more sour-cation.
2. What do you call a baby margarita? A mini-rita!
3. Why did the lime go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
4. What do you call a margarita in a hurry? A quick-rita!
5. Why did the salt go to school? To get a little more seasoned.
6. What does a margarita say when it wins a game? “I’m on a roll — a lime roll!”
7. Why did the lime sit next to the lemon? Because they were best buds — citrus buddies for life.
8. What do you call a margarita that’s really good at maths? A calcu-lime-tor.
9. Why was the blender always happy? Because it had a great mix of friends.
10. What did the lime say to the salt? “You complete my life.”
11. Why didn’t the margarita do its homework? Because it was already mixed up.
12. What’s green, round, and tells jokes? A lime that thinks it’s a comedian.
13. Why did the glass go to school? To get a little more culture — lime culture.
14. What do you call a sleeping margarita? A snore-garita.
15. What’s a margarita’s favourite subject? Mixology — duh.

Margarita Puns for Social Media

Reddit threads, Twitter replies, TikTok comments, Facebook group captions — these are written for the scroll. Short, punchy, and designed to get an upvote or a laugh out of someone at 11pm.

1. Pour decisions: a memoir.
2. AITA for ordering a second margarita? No. No I am not.
3. POV: You’re the margarita everyone needed at this party.
4. Hot take: frozen margaritas are objectively the best decision any blender ever made.
5. This is fine. sips margarita.
6. Nobody: / Me at 3pm on a Friday: “Should I?”
7. The margarita understood the assignment.
8. Came for the tacos. Stayed for the salt rim.
9. Rating this experience: 10/10 limes.
10. Update: I ordered the pitcher. Still no regrets.
11. Tell me you love margaritas without telling me you love margaritas. I’ll go first: gestures at empty glass.
12. Day ruined? Day fixed. posts margarita photo.
13. Plot twist: I ordered a second one and it was even better.
14. The comments section of my life: mostly lime-related.
15. Chaotic neutral energy: blended margarita, straw in hand, no plans.

Dirty Margarita Puns

Cheeky, suggestive, and witty — but never too far over the line. These are for the adults-only group chat, bachelorette parties, or anyone who appreciates a good double meaning.

1. I like my margaritas the way I like my evenings — wet, salty, and lasting longer than expected.
2. She said she wanted something stiff. I made her a margarita.
3. I’ve been told I give great rim. (Salt rim. On a margarita glass. Calm down.)
4. It’s not the size of the glass that matters — it’s what’s inside.
5. I can go all night. refills pitcher.
6. You had me at “want to come over and use my blender?”
7. I prefer my drinks the way I prefer my nights: long, smooth, and full of tequila.
8. Nothing comes before the rim. That’s the rule I live by.
9. Two can play at this game — double the tequila, double the fun.
10. It’s always the quiet ones who order the strongest margaritas.
11. I don’t kiss and tell. But I do sip and share.
12. She said, “make it dirty.” I added extra salt. We’re still friends.
13. Sometimes you just need someone to shake things up a little.
14. I like my partners how I like my margaritas: complex, a little sour, and worth the effort.
15. Frozen or on the rocks? Asking for a friend who wants to know everything.

Clever Margarita Wordplay Puns

These are the ones that take a second to land — and then hit harder for it. If someone has to think for a moment before laughing, that’s a win. These are built for the wordplay nerds who appreciate a well-constructed pun more than a cheap one.

1. Tequila Mockingbird — a classic tale of poor decisions and great taste.
2. For Whom the Bell Limes — a story about waiting for happy hour.
3. The Lime Also Rises — Hemingway would’ve approved.
4. A Farewell to Sobers.
5. The Great Margar-eats-by — old money, new pitcher.
6. Catcher in the Rye… Whiskey? No. Margarita. Always margarita.
7. Salt and Peppered with bad ideas — my autobiography.
8. Agave and Take — the secret to every great relationship.
9. The Citrus of Dorian Gray — beautiful on the outside, chaotic within.
10. Zest of Eden — a story of paradise, limes, and questionable choices.
11. Crime and Pour-ishment — I knew what I was doing. I did it anyway.
12. The Old Man and the Sea Salt Rim.

FAQs

That’s a Wrap

The best pun is the one that makes someone pause mid-sip, look at you, and go “…okay, that was good.”

Pick your favourites. Drop them at the right moment. And remember — a bad pun with good delivery still beats a great pun told to the wrong crowd.

Now go forth and be salty about it.